Can't think of one right now...

You always think you’ve seen it all. You think that you’ve got people figured out and you could think that you’ve found the perfect friends, people who are honest and would stick with you but the truth is people are deceptive little shits, you think you know what someone is like and you think that you can trust them, but that beautiful little illusion will come crashing down all around you the moment you let your guard down. Some people find it hard to not trust someone, when someone looks you straight in the eye and tells you to trust them. Maybe I’ve just grown soft lately, I guess in the end you can’t rely on anyone but yourself, there’s no one who’s real except you.

Choices...

We go through life make choices, we choose who are friends are and through that choice, we inevitably decide who we become as well. Some people affect us more than others and sometimes we make the mistake of getting too close to a person, the problem arises when we care about a person possibly a little more than we care about ourselves, it is at that time that we are faced with only two options, do we risk it all and go on instinct, or do we torment ourselves and decide to keep it all in?

We are selfish creatures by nature, nobody would help someone else if it didn’t make them feel better of themselves, it’s a shallow truth and might not be true of everyone, but they’re merely the exception that proves the rule. This is why we are so confused when we meet someone else that makes us feel so good about ourselves that we begin to care about their happiness more than we care about our own. Therefore something that once seemed innocent takes a more selfish route the more time and thought we give to it.

Sometimes, we have no choice but to hurt ourselves. To cut off ourselves until the moment that we can regroup and gain control of our emotions once more, is it really selfish to risk everything just so we don’t lose someone close?

English Class Essay

It never fails to amaze me what I can get away with in class, I mean I know I’ve done a lot of things I shouldn’t have in class but getting full marks on the following essay is really something I’m proud of.

Well, our teacher asked us to write about our childhood. He asked to be honest if we could and all that. I decided to record all the dirty details of my childhood, to literally spill my heart out on that blank piece of paper I had been given.

Here goes my English essay, titled: My Childhood

I can’t honestly say I’ve had a happy childhood, but then again it has helped shape me into the person that you see standing here before you today.

I was born to a young couple who constantly told me how much they loved me just before they shat all over me. I guess it wasn’t enough that I was neglected as an only child because they soon decided to bring another child into this cruel and depressing world, a year later I was cursed with a baby brother whom they favored over me because unlike me, he was white(er).

Growing up wasn’t easy for me either, I was constantly bullied during my earlier years from Kindergarten till the 3^rd grade when my Latin-American school teacher offered me protection from the bullies, in return all I had to do was spend time alone with her during the breaks and after school. I thought it was alright back then, I didn’t know they had a name for people like that.

After my turbulent 3^rd grade and following a police investigation on child exploitation, I decided that I needed to switch schools, to make a fresh start if you know what I mean. Life in the 4^th grade was much better for me, I learnt how to make friends. I had also learnt how to defend myself but later that year something terrible was to happen. I still can’t talk about what happened during that day, but I learnt one thing, not all drug deals with the Jamaicans are destined to succeed.

Well, there you have it, the cold hard naked truth of my childhood…

I would’ve wrote more, but damn the 40 minutes they give us to write something in class. That and because I spend more time talking than doing my work in English. :-p

The enviroment sucks...

There is nothing called global warming…

I’ve heard of a lot of bullshit in my life, but geez…This is seriously some of the most ridiculous crap I’ve ever heard.

I mean, c’mon just think about it? Even if they are right? What’s the big deal? Most scientists say it won’t affect us for at least 100 years?

And I doubt any of us will live long enough to witness the sea’s drying up and the mountaintops exploding in blazing inferno.

And even if they do, won’t that be awesome? We barely get to see anything interesting happening these days.

If you ask me, I just think that Mother Nature’s been getting really lazy these days.

I blame junk food and obesity on it.

And what’s gotten into people these days?

Do people honestly believe that eating healthy is more important than looking good?

Do people actually think that what you are deep down inside you is what counts?

Face it, you live in a shallow world, the only thing people are going to judge you by your face and how fat you are.

This is a shallow planet we live on; it’s time we adapt to it…

The reason I don't post?

Geez, It’s been a while since I last posted anything and all I blame is school. They give us so much shit to do these days it’s really not funny.

Every day we get a ton of homework and worksheets and shit and shit and shit and bullshit and fuckshit and gayshit.

And there’s so much shit that’s been going on in my life.

My friends don’t talk anymore, I don’t enjoy their company, My cats are all pregnant and shit, my house was set on fire…

Ugh, the thing is I’m a lazy fuck and everything I’ve just said was bullshit…

I need to come up with better excuses…

Bicycle Gangsta!

You know, just when I thought people couldn’t get any stupider. The kids go and do something else that gets on my nerves.

Anyone who’s ever been to Shitti has probably seen the latest trend.

No, I’m not talking about boys wearing pink shirts and tiaras on their heads.

While that is becoming the new ‘it’ trend, since all the ‘cool’ (read: Homosexual) boys are doing it.

What I’m referring to is the new fad of riding your bicycle.

That’s right, they’ve completely and utterly lost it…

Bicycles…

What the fuck?

Why?

I mean I’d understand if they actually need it to get from one place to another, but just to show off?

I mean they look like a group of wanna be gangsta bikers…

I’m actually afraid to walk by them in case their stupidity rubs on me or something…

Now, if they looked anything like the girl above...I wouldn't be complaining...

EXTREME!!! WOOO!!!

There comes a time in a man’s life, when he must eventually take an Extreme Shit.

A man has the option of choosing both when and where to take a shit.

Some prefer to do it on their rooftops with the sun (or the moon) as their only witness (As well as any neighbors who have nothing better to do) , while others prefer the safety and seclusion of their own private bathrooms where they are free to scream in pain from the act of pushing an object through their colon tract and out their anus.

Taking an Extreme Shit is simple often enough, the man must place his anus upon some sort of hollowed seat or paper bag and begin using his well developed colon muscles to push the offending brown object quickly and smoothly out of his anus.

The act of taking an Extreme Shit is often time consuming and if care is not taken, it could result in an early (usually painful) death.

Extreme care and caution must be taken before and after to ensure the safety of not only the shitter but those around him as well, since the noxious fumes released are extremely poisonous and will kill all those within a 10 mile radius.

It is generally advisable to avoid eating anything that may cause diarrhea.

For those unfamiliar with the term, Extreme Diarrhea Shitting is an extreme form of the sport in which the shit will flow through the colon tract at half the speed of light, causing extreme damage to the anus upon exit, the diarrhea shitter will usually scream in extreme agony as it’s not really enjoyable to have what feels like acid burst through your ass.

In the more classic form of shitting the only tools a man would need would be the following:

1. Water
2. Toilet Paper
3. A spoon (A shovel is needed if you’re obese)

The water is used as both a lubricant and as a source of hydration in case the Extreme Shit takes over a day.

The toilet paper is used for cleaning up both the mess and any passersby.

The spoon is used for shoveling anything that might still linger inside you which you’re unable to push out.

Welcome to the world of Extreme Shitting…

HELP!

Neither was I, but you don't see me complaining about it. Do you?

My Dreams...

Hey all, I know I haven’t been posting for a while.

It’s just that I’ve gotten really busy these past couple of weeks and just didn’t have the time to post anything.

And since I’m still fresh out of ideas, I’ve decided to post something off of my diary instead.

Dear Diary,

I hate my friend, she’s such a bitch…

Awain, I have to wear all pink for her stupid birthday party.

But, I don’t have any pink dresses, after my old one got torn trying to run away from my rapist ex-boyfriend…But enough about that.

I just want to know, when will I go to my first dance?

When will I get my first kiss?

When will I finally meet a boy who loves me?

I mean, aren’t these questions every girl thinks about?

Then why do I feel like nobody’s ever gone through what I went through? Why do I feel so alone?

And why is my friend being such a bitch about her party? I mean, I’m happy for her and all, But can’t she see what I’m going through? Waxing my legs is painful, PMS is painful...Sometimes I wish I wasn't a girl, just to escape all the pain...

Sometimes I just want to spread my wings and fly, to meet my prince charming, to enjoy the sights and sounds of the most romantic cities in the world...

I’ve got dreams…

My dreams…

These are my dreams…