How to write a love letter...

Alright constant reader...For this little post...I'm going to actually enlighten you with something most people are familiar with...But haven't got a clue to do...
How many times have you stared at someone from across the room...She's the hottest, smartest thing you've ever seen...And you haven't got a chance in hell with her...Well...Maybe a letter from you might get her heart pumping...So I'm going to use a real letter I once wrote...But never got the chance to send because I was so shy...To show you guys how it's done...


Dear X,

You're probably who I am, Why I've sent this letter...Well...I've got a crush on you...And I hope to show you how I feel...I've wondered how long I can see you sitting there...So far away...Smiling, laughing...Until I got the courage to walk up to you and finally be the one to make you smile...I've wondered what it would take to finally get you off my mind...I've lain awake for nights constantly...Searching inside me for the courage to face my fears and walk up to you and express about how I feel...To tell you how much I care about you...About what you mean to me...But I've realized something...The thing I loved the most about your smile...Wasn't the the perfection in it...Or the way your whole faced lights up...It's me imagining my fist crashing into it...And your beautiful soft voice screaming in pain...Of you moaning softly...Of tears streaming out of those beautiful brown eyes of yours in raging streams that reminds me of an angry river...I want to take that beautiful face of yours...And paint it black and blue with my fist...I want to tie you...Just so I could cut you...Little by little...Painfully...
And if you should happen to gain a few pounds? Well don't worry...I'll still love you...But only after I've run you over with a steamroller...and used what's left of you as an ironing board...
I hope you die...You and your whole family...

Love and Respect,
WeirdGoat...


P.S. I'm usually a very nice person...But I just don't like you....


Well reader...We've come to the end...I hope you take this letter...And use it as an example when you're struggling to find the right words to say to that special someone...