Saturday, March 10, 2007

Bicycle Gangsta!

You know, just when I thought people couldn’t get any stupider. The kids go and do something else that gets on my nerves.

Anyone who’s ever been to Shitti has probably seen the latest trend.

No, I’m not talking about boys wearing pink shirts and tiaras on their heads.

While that is becoming the new ‘it’ trend, since all the ‘cool’ (read: Homosexual) boys are doing it.

What I’m referring to is the new fad of riding your bicycle.

That’s right, they’ve completely and utterly lost it…


What the fuck?


I mean I’d understand if they actually need it to get from one place to another, but just to show off?

I mean they look like a group of wanna be gangsta bikers…

I’m actually afraid to walk by them in case their stupidity rubs on me or something…

Now, if they looked anything like the girl above...I wouldn't be complaining...


There comes a time in a man’s life, when he must eventually take an Extreme Shit.

A man has the option of choosing both when and where to take a shit.

Some prefer to do it on their rooftops with the sun (or the moon) as their only witness (As well as any neighbors who have nothing better to do) , while others prefer the safety and seclusion of their own private bathrooms where they are free to scream in pain from the act of pushing an object through their colon tract and out their anus.

Taking an Extreme Shit is simple often enough, the man must place his anus upon some sort of hollowed seat or paper bag and begin using his well developed colon muscles to push the offending brown object quickly and smoothly out of his anus.

The act of taking an Extreme Shit is often time consuming and if care is not taken, it could result in an early (usually painful) death.

Extreme care and caution must be taken before and after to ensure the safety of not only the shitter but those around him as well, since the noxious fumes released are extremely poisonous and will kill all those within a 10 mile radius.

It is generally advisable to avoid eating anything that may cause diarrhea.

For those unfamiliar with the term, Extreme Diarrhea Shitting is an extreme form of the sport in which the shit will flow through the colon tract at half the speed of light, causing extreme damage to the anus upon exit, the diarrhea shitter will usually scream in extreme agony as it’s not really enjoyable to have what feels like acid burst through your ass.

In the more classic form of shitting the only tools a man would need would be the following:

  1. Water
  2. Toilet Paper
  3. A spoon (A shovel is needed if you’re obese)

The water is used as both a lubricant and as a source of hydration in case the Extreme Shit takes over a day.

The toilet paper is used for cleaning up both the mess and any passersby.

The spoon is used for shoveling anything that might still linger inside you which you’re unable to push out.

Welcome to the world of Extreme Shitting…

Thursday, March 01, 2007


Neither was I, but you don't see me complaining about it. Do you?