English Class Essay

It never fails to amaze me what I can get away with in class, I mean I know I’ve done a lot of things I shouldn’t have in class but getting full marks on the following essay is really something I’m proud of.

Well, our teacher asked us to write about our childhood. He asked to be honest if we could and all that. I decided to record all the dirty details of my childhood, to literally spill my heart out on that blank piece of paper I had been given.

Here goes my English essay, titled: My Childhood

I can’t honestly say I’ve had a happy childhood, but then again it has helped shape me into the person that you see standing here before you today.

I was born to a young couple who constantly told me how much they loved me just before they shat all over me. I guess it wasn’t enough that I was neglected as an only child because they soon decided to bring another child into this cruel and depressing world, a year later I was cursed with a baby brother whom they favored over me because unlike me, he was white(er).

Growing up wasn’t easy for me either, I was constantly bullied during my earlier years from Kindergarten till the 3^rd grade when my Latin-American school teacher offered me protection from the bullies, in return all I had to do was spend time alone with her during the breaks and after school. I thought it was alright back then, I didn’t know they had a name for people like that.

After my turbulent 3^rd grade and following a police investigation on child exploitation, I decided that I needed to switch schools, to make a fresh start if you know what I mean. Life in the 4^th grade was much better for me, I learnt how to make friends. I had also learnt how to defend myself but later that year something terrible was to happen. I still can’t talk about what happened during that day, but I learnt one thing, not all drug deals with the Jamaicans are destined to succeed.

Well, there you have it, the cold hard naked truth of my childhood…

I would’ve wrote more, but damn the 40 minutes they give us to write something in class. That and because I spend more time talking than doing my work in English. :-p

The enviroment sucks...

There is nothing called global warming…

I’ve heard of a lot of bullshit in my life, but geez…This is seriously some of the most ridiculous crap I’ve ever heard.

I mean, c’mon just think about it? Even if they are right? What’s the big deal? Most scientists say it won’t affect us for at least 100 years?

And I doubt any of us will live long enough to witness the sea’s drying up and the mountaintops exploding in blazing inferno.

And even if they do, won’t that be awesome? We barely get to see anything interesting happening these days.

If you ask me, I just think that Mother Nature’s been getting really lazy these days.

I blame junk food and obesity on it.

And what’s gotten into people these days?

Do people honestly believe that eating healthy is more important than looking good?

Do people actually think that what you are deep down inside you is what counts?

Face it, you live in a shallow world, the only thing people are going to judge you by your face and how fat you are.

This is a shallow planet we live on; it’s time we adapt to it…

The reason I don't post?

Geez, It’s been a while since I last posted anything and all I blame is school. They give us so much shit to do these days it’s really not funny.

Every day we get a ton of homework and worksheets and shit and shit and shit and bullshit and fuckshit and gayshit.

And there’s so much shit that’s been going on in my life.

My friends don’t talk anymore, I don’t enjoy their company, My cats are all pregnant and shit, my house was set on fire…

Ugh, the thing is I’m a lazy fuck and everything I’ve just said was bullshit…

I need to come up with better excuses…