How to flirt and be awesome...

Hey everyone, I know that many guys just don’t know how to flirt in general and usually look for that magical line that’ll give them the power to get any girl they want.

Well, I’m here to teach you guys everything you need and more.

So, without wasting any more time, let’s get started. Shall we?

Step 1: Appearance

Being well groomed is really important, well not really. Just as long as you don’t smell like something that crawled up a person’s ass and died you’re pretty much alright, oh and make sure your clothes fit and don’t have holes in them, unless you’re making a fashion statement, which means you shouldn’t be reading this because you’re a queer.

Penis enlargement pills will not help you at this stage; I mean you can’t expect to come through flying out of the bushes with your giant donkey dick flapping in the air and expect her to just lie down and spread her legs. Or can you?

Step 2: Approaching

Now, this step is really important, first impressions can make all the difference. Whether you get the girl or not, it’ll be this step that decides it all.

Now, the following steps all depend on the type of girl you’re after, so I’ll break it down for y’all…

If she’s Normal/Girly:

1. Get some pink clothes and let your sister apply makeup on you, they’ll love it if you’re kinda gay (If you’re completely gay, I don’t even wanna know why you’re reading this). Don’t forget to completely wax your body because hair is just gross.
2. Alright, for the pickup line use the following: “Is you’re father a thief? Because someone must’ve stolen the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes.”

If she’s Gangsta:

1. Get oversized clothes for this one, wear anything that you see on a rap video on T.V. or better yet, just go outside and wear the same exact clothes that everyone else is wearing. Because originality and being yourself isn’t really important anymore. Neither is it attractive to the opposite sex.
2. Alright, here’s the pickup line: “Iz yo fadda a deif? Cuz someone be stealin dem starz from da sky and be puttin dem in yo eyebawls babez”

If she’s Rocker/Goth/Emo

1. Wear black, steal your sisters pants, and her mascara as well. Why? Because you’re depressed, you hate everything and everyone, and nobody gets you either, that’s why.
2. Using a pickup line on these kind of people just isn’t gonna work, because they’re way too wrapped up in their own despair and if you ask if their father is a thief, they’ll not only tell you how he steals everyday from his own daughters purse, she’ll also tell you how he molests her everyday, how her first boyfriend dumped her for a total BITCH and how depressed she is in general. So here’s what to do:

1. Write depressing poetry, like how the sky is black and your soul is even darker.
2. Cut yourself, the sight of your scars and self harming is a major turn for people like that.

Well that’s all folks…

Love and respect…